Focus On What You Really Want.
Have you ever wondered why so few people seem to achieve extraordinary success in their lives? Could it be luck, talent, or something else?
Imagine waking up with a deep sense of hope, passion, and excitement to the possibilities for what the day holds. How would it feel to step into each day filled with power and purpose?
In my years leading people, I’ve noticed a common pattern: many spend significant time and energy focused on what went wrong and what they don’t want. Yet, when asked to articulate what they truly desire or hope to achieve, most haven’t taken the time to envision it clearly. As a result, their life’s canvas—their vision for the future—remains blank or at best unfinished.
A few months ago, one of my coaching clients expressed deep disappointment in their romantic relationship and the ripple effect it had created in other areas of their life. After listening with compassion, in curiosity I politely asked, “Well, what is it that you really want?” They paused, realizing they’d been so consumed by what they didn’t want that they’d never stopped to consider what they truly desired. By the end of our session, they admitted this lack of clarity had been holding them back in more ways than one.
I get it—many of us have been there. When I think about what it truly means to live a powerful and purposeful life, one thing stands out: clarity. Though often overlooked and undervalued, clarity is the foundation upon which a meaningful life is built as outlined in my 4C’s of Change Framework.
As Robin Sharma famously stated: ‘clarity precedes success’. Clarity not only helps us focus and take action but also empowers us to feel alive and aligned with our purpose.
The unfortunate truth is that many people don't truly know what they want or where they want to go in life. Without clarity, we often find ourselves dissatisfied with the results we’re getting and the person we’ve become. Too many are driven by external expectations—what others say they should do, what others have, or what they think will earn approval—rather than by their own true desires and values.
I invite you to ask yourself two seemingly simple, yet powerful questions: What do I really want in life? Who do I really want to be?
Remember, growth is a process that takes time, patience and persistence; it’s an inside-out process (more on this idea in a future article). As Jim Rohn famously said, 'For things to change, you have to change.’
Despite where you are along your journey, I believe you have the power to change your circumstances—whether it be your relationships, career, health or personal growth. Clarity is an essential first step in understanding where we are now which allows us to paint a vivid picture of where we want to be in the future.
Here Are 6 Practical Steps to Gain Clarity:
Set Aside Quiet Reflection Time
Dedicate at least 10–15 minutes daily to sit in stillness. Use this time to journal, meditate, or simply reflect on your desires and priorities without distraction. If you’re struggling to find time, you can always integrate moments of stillness into your existing routines—driving to work, working out in the gym, or walking your dog.
Access Your Current Reality
In order to move your life forward, you have to know where you’re starting from. Get clear on how things are today—what’s working and not working—through the lens of possibility.
Visualize Your Ideal Future
With the New Year fast approaching, you may find now to be the perfect time—though not the only time—to write down a clear and specific description of what you want. Imagine your ideal career, relationship, or life and ask yourself, What does success look and feel like to me?
Prioritize Your Core Values
Make a list of your top 5 values and compare them to your current goals or actions. Are they aligned? If not, adjust your focus to honor what matters most to you.
Break Your Goals Down
If a goal feels overwhelming, break it into small bite-sized, actionable steps. Think of it like eating a pizza—you don’t consume it all at once; you start with one slice. Similarly, start with one area where you can make a small but meaningful change today.
Seek Feedback and Guidance
We’ve all heard the saying—feedback is a gift. Share your vision with a trusted friend, mentor, or coach. Sometimes an outside perspective can help you uncover blind spots or refine your ideas.